Luke and Billy Finally Get a Clue by Cat Sebastian

Author:Cat Sebastian [Sebastian, Cat]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Independent
Published: 2023-10-02T18:30:00+00:00

Chapter Seven

“It wasn’t a queer crisis,” Luke said after drenching his meatloaf in an ungodly amount of ketchup.

“Okay,” Billy said. He didn’t know if Luke was about to tell him that he wasn’t queer—Billy had heard that one before—or if he was going to claim he hadn’t been sulking all afternoon.

“I know I’m—” Luke sighed and began to cut his meatloaf into perfect little cubes. “It’s not news to me.”

“Congratulations?”

“Asshole. I’m trying to tell you something.”

“You should try, I don’t know, actually telling me.”

“You’re fucking unbelievable. Look. I’ve known since I was sixteen. It’s just that I haven’t done anything about it.”

Billy blinked. He didn’t know what Luke thought you had to do about being queer. There wasn’t an antidote. You didn’t have to fill out a form. It wasn’t like registering for the selective service.

And then— “Oh. You haven’t had sex with anyone.”

Poor Luke looked like he was about six more syllables away from some kind of cardiac episode. He nodded, apparently unable to speak.

“Not into sex?” Billy asked. Then he remembered that Luke probably wasn’t queer in the same exact way that Billy was. He might only be into men, which would have narrowed his options.

Luke looked thoughtful. “I guess I’ve never really felt like it was worth the risk.”

Was the implication that Billy was worth the risk? Or was it just that there wasn’t any risk with Billy—a trusted friend, the middle of the nowhere, no possibility of witnesses.

“Makes sense,” Billy said, taking a bite of meatloaf.

“Really?”

“Yes?” Billy said, not sure where he’d gone wrong. “Don’t you think it does? It’s your…” He made a vague gesture that he hoped was slightly more sophisticated than pointing at Luke’s dick.

“You don’t think it’s a bit strange that I’m twenty-seven and I’ve never been with anyone.”

“Well, I guess it’s statistically unusual, like batting .350 or a pitcher having a twenty-eight-win season.” Billy took a moment to think about how much he’d resent Robin Roberts if he played for any team other than the Phillies. “But not unusual like dousing your meatloaf with a quart of ketchup. That’s fucking strange and you should feel bad about it.”

Luke gave him the finger.

“Some people are born liking more ketchup than others,” Billy went on, warming to his metaphor. Luke looked ready for murder. “Aw hell, I didn’t even get to tell you about my own queer crisis.”

“I swear to God, Billy, I don’t want to hear about you whacking off to Babe Ruth.”

“How the fuck old do you think I am? No, it was—”

“So help me, Billy—”

“I wanted to blow half the 1942 Dodgers roster—”

Luke groaned and buried his face in his hands. “We played with some of those guys.”

Billy tried to look like he was overcome with a sort of horny nostalgia. “You would not believe the number of times I jerked off to—”

Luke was out of his seat now, stalking around the table towards Billy. “Oh, for Pete’s sake, I knew you were going to try to ruin some old ballplayer for me.

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